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MHM: Loss

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Content Moderator Saturnia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• Graphics Open, Coding Open
January 24th, 2022 10:48:08am
2,813 Posts

Hello my loves! I hope that this new year has been treating you well so far. It has been quite the whirl wind for me. Lots of big changes, busy work schedules, and more.Β 

Trigger Warnings : Speaking about Death, Loss, Grief, Loved Ones, Strained Relationships with Family.. (potentially others) This could be a heavy topic so just be warned and be aware. I am going to do my best to provide a light/silver linings with this. But, this topic isn't the easiest to cover. If you need to skip this one, I totally get it!Β 


Some of you may or may not know (I don't talk about it much) but my Paternal step-grandmother passed a few weeks ago. This was the first person in my family (that I cared about and had a relationship with) that has died. (My paternal grandmother and step-grandfather died last year and years ago respectively. I had -5% relationship with them, so it didn't effect me.) So, this one has hit me. But, it's hit me differently than how my wife handled the passing of her maternal grandfather 2 years ago. So, I thought that I would talk about Loss, Grief, and how you cope with that because everyone handles it differently.Β 

I will be posting a LOT of links to websites, helplines,etc at the bottom of this post due to the nature of this topic. So, there will be a flood of that in the top comment.Β 

For starters, grief is exhausting. Mourning the loss of someone that you had a relationship with, loved, knew well - it's hard. It's confusing. It's tiring. Coming to terms with the fact that you will never get to spend time with them again, hear their voice, get a text on your birthday or a card during the holidays or be able to make more memories.. that's hard. It's scary. It's painful. It's frustrating.Β 
Grief is a sneaky bastard. It comes to you when you least expect it. You've had your cry, your break down, your anger outburst.. you've bottled those feelings and wrapped yourself in a blanket of strength to get through the day.. and then it hits you. That lonely feeling in your chest that just aches and there is nothing that can fix it except for time and coping techniques.Β 

There is no right way to deal with grief. That's right - I said it.Β There is no right way to deal with grief. There is no 1 stop, fix all, this is how you get past it tactic. Because everyone processes and handles grief differently.Β 

For me, I deal with my grief by being strong for my family. My dad lost both of his mom's this year and he needed me to be there for him. So I was. I dropped everything, booked a last minute flight and flew out to meet him to be there with him for a weekend. (and then dealt with the lovely flight delays because of all the storms that were passing through that weekend ;P )Β 
For others, being strong and dealing with grief means staying busy. Keeping yourself busy with tasks and to-do lists and chores and meetings and work to keep your mind off of it.Β 
For some, being strong means having a good cry in a hot bath every single night for a week straight.Β 
For a few, being strong means pushing those tough feelings down, bottling them up tight, and moving forward. (I don't recommend this version as it can be extremely difficult on you. It's like shaking a bottle of coke.. it'll calm down for a minute, but something will happen and it'll explode sooner or later)
There are some other coping mechanisms that I'm not going to speak on here just because I don't want to promote drinking or substances or any other unhealthy coping mechanisms. I know we do have a few younger players on the game - the world is hard enough. I don't want to put ideas into their heads. But older players, I'm sure you can imagine what I mean.Β 

If you're dealing with grief, there's a few things I want you to remember:Β 
1. Be gentle with yourself. This isn't something easy to deal with and it'll take some time. Be kind to yourself - noone expects you to have all of the answers.Β 
2. Remember that you are not alone. No matter how scary it feels - there is someone out there who understands *exactly* what you are going through.Β 
3. Time will make it better. It doesn't seem like it in the moment, but you are strong. You will get through this.Β 

Mental Health America has a nice, succint page on how to deal with grief : https://www.mhanational.org/bereavement-and-grief .Β 

"Nobody ever told me that grief felt so much like fear." C.S.Lewis.Β 
When someone you love dies, there is no such thing as moving on By Kelley Lynn - https://youtu.be/kYWlCGbbDGI .Β 


There are a million links and websites, tedtalks, books, self help articles and friend's recommendations for how to deal with grief and loss. There are so many ways to deal with something that you will never quite be prepared for. Just know that it is overwhelming and how you choose to handle it is OKAY. There isn't a competition for "I handled my grief perfectly or better than you". It's just grief and life. So, don't judge yourself for how you handled things. Just worry about taking care of yourself.Β 

As always, my page is a safe space and you are welcome to reach out ANY time. Seriously. That is what I am here for! I also have my anonymous google form where you can vent to your heart's content anonymously and I will link that down in the first comment as well.Β 

Thank you for reading β™₯ I hope this helped, even if it was only just a little bit of help! This was a tough topic, but I know it's something that I needed to touch on lightly.Β See y'all back again in February on the 8th and the 22ndΒ !Β 




β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• My page is a SAFE space πŸ’•πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
ioGIZ5S Fly High, Angel Moosetress !

 


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Content Moderator Saturnia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• Graphics Open, Coding Open
January 24th, 2022 10:54:15am
2,813 Posts

Helpful Links/Hotlines/etc :Β 

Samsa Hotline and Resources : https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

HelpGuide article on dealing with loss: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

JohnHopkins medicine article on coping with loss: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/caregiving/coping-with-loss

TeensHealth : 5 Ways to Cope when a loved one dies : https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/coping-grief.html

CDC: Grief and Loss : https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stress-coping/grief-loss/index.html

American Psychological Association - Hotlines, Resources, Chats, etc : https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlinesΒ 

My anonymous Google Form : https://forms.gle/BsbvXoWXFSjQBTPn9

Mango's Prayer Group :Β I just wanted to comment here and say that if you ever need prayer or want someone to talk to, I'm also 100% ready to talk. Prayer has been the one and only thing that brings me peace and comfort 100% of the time, and it has helped me get through each and every one of my losses. I will always recommend it ^^


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Prayer Request FormΒ where you can choose to submit a request to me anonymously or have it shared with the rest of HP's prayer group

TedTalks/Youtubes- dealing with grief and loss:Β 
https://youtu.be/khkJkR-ipfw
https://youtu.be/lhoCdZFoktQ
https://youtu.be/Jl7axuIeVxI



National Suicide Prevention LifelineΒ 
(800) 273-8255

Nacional de PrevenciΓ³n del SuicidioΒ 
(888) 628-9454

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Options for Deaf and Hard of Hearing)Β 
For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text LineΒ 
Text HOME to 741741

National Domestic Violence HotlineΒ 
(800) 799-7233

Veterans Crisis LineΒ 
(800) 273-8255,Β PRESSΒ 1Β 
Text 838255Β 
Chat online




National Grad Crisis LineΒ 
(877) 472-3457

National Sexual Assault HotlineΒ 
(800) 656-4673

Childhelp National Child Abuse HotlineΒ 
(800) 422-4453

CDC National HIV and AIDS HotlineΒ 
(800) 232-4636

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services AdministrationΒ National HelplineΒ 
(800) 662-4357





Β 




β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• My page is a SAFE space πŸ’•πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
ioGIZ5S Fly High, Angel Moosetress !

 

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Vexation [Π‘Ρ–Π»Π° Π²ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΠ½Π°]
January 24th, 2022 4:04:54pm
168 Posts

Wonderful resources Sat! I just lost my maternal grandfather (and also my namesake) at 94 years old.




 

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SKELLETOR
January 24th, 2022 4:38:00pm
341 Posts

I've been fortunate to never have experienced real loss. But can I just say, the amount of time, research and love you put into MHM is admirable. Thanks for all your hard work < 3




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Jen Dinosaurs πŸ¦•πŸ¦–πŸ¦•πŸ¦–πŸ¦•πŸ¦–πŸ¦•πŸ¦–πŸ¦•πŸ¦–πŸ¦•πŸ¦–
January 24th, 2022 7:39:15pm
99 Posts

Thank you for this Sat. My daughter and my self as everyone knows lost her dad back in 2020. It has been very very hard. Not a day goes by that I dont miss him terribly. I am grateful for Mark but it's very hardΒ  because Annabelle thinks he's replacing her dad.Β 




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Oak πŸ’• β—¦mainβ—¦ Β«Exmoor PoniesΒ»
January 24th, 2022 7:46:20pm
1,167 Posts

I lost my grandpa in 2020 the year I graduated and a few days after graduation we lost him! At times it can be very difficult but knowing that he's in a better place somewhat helps.Β 


Also, you do such a fantasic job with these Sat, I really admire you and all the time and effort you put into making these weekly posts! < 3




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Event Coordinator mango πŸ‘ fruit punch shows will be up Monday
January 25th, 2022 12:35:20am
2,064 Posts

I just wanted to comment here and say that if you ever need prayer or want someone to talk to, I'm also 100% ready to talk. Prayer has been the one and only thing that brings me peace and comfort 100% of the time, and it has helped me get through each and every one of my losses. I will always recommend it ^^


Prayer Request Form where you can choose to submit a request to me anonymously or have it shared with the rest of HP's prayer group




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Content Moderator Saturnia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• Graphics Open, Coding Open
January 25th, 2022 9:18:38am
2,813 Posts

Thank you Skell and Oak! β™₯Β 

Mango - Thank you for that! I have added it to that top comment so that it stays near the top for people!Β 

Vex, sounds like your grandpa got to live a fun full life!Β 
Jen, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that has been. But, I'm proud of you for waking up each day and doing your best for you and your daughter!Β 




β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• My page is a SAFE space πŸ’•πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
ioGIZ5S Fly High, Angel Moosetress !

 

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awd [main!] β—‹ GSDs
January 25th, 2022 10:59:46am
597 Posts

Prayer request form completed.Β 


My dad is currently in the hospital and the prognosis is not good. I want to be hopeful, but also realistic. It is an extremely cruel position for my heart and brain to be in. I am NOT giving up, dad! πŸ™πŸ»




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`neke-a-saurus β†’ the queen of horror
January 31st, 2022 1:58:46pm
10,080 Posts

Sat; I am so sorry for your loss.Β  I know how hard it can be.

Sidenote; I find grief to be the ocean.Β  I say this so often, because it is.Β  Sometimes, it is a clear day, and the water is beautiful, and you feel okay.Β  And sometimes it is a tsunami!Β  And it crushes you and pulls you down.


Β 


β™₯




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Content Moderator Saturnia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• Graphics Open, Coding Open
February 1st, 2022 7:46:44pm
2,813 Posts

Neke- that is beautiful! I think that's a wonderful way to put it because some days are easier than others πŸ’•




β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• My page is a SAFE space πŸ’•πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
ioGIZ5S Fly High, Angel Moosetress !

 

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r i s ღ main
February 1st, 2022 10:29:57pm
674 Posts

Sat, I'm so sorry for your loss and also...Thank you for this .... perfect timing. I just lost my mom January 6th and her birthday is coming up, she would have been 72 on Feb 10th. I have had a lot going on and haven't had much of a chance to slow down and really let myself grieve so now that things have semi-calmed down everything is hitting me, very very very hard.Β 

AWD, I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, I know the heart/brain struggle all too well. My prayers are with you and if you ever need to vent or talk about it or whatever please feel free to message me β™₯

Neke, that truly is the perfect way to describe what is happening during grief.




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Content Moderator Saturnia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• Graphics Open, Coding Open
February 2nd, 2022 11:04:38am
2,813 Posts

Ard - I'm so sorry for your loss! There are no words that make it better, but just now that time helps! I'm here if you need someone to chat with!Β 




β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• My page is a SAFE space πŸ’•πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
ioGIZ5S Fly High, Angel Moosetress !

 

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`neke-a-saurus β†’ the queen of horror
February 2nd, 2022 11:12:37am
10,080 Posts

Oh Ard β™₯Β Β 
That is so, so hard.
We are here for you.




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Content Moderator Saturnia πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• Graphics Open, Coding Open
May 24th, 2022 11:13:37am
2,813 Posts

Reviving this thread with the recent loss of a special HP member. Sweet Moosetress (Tronic), you are already missed.Β 

This thread is full of helpful tips for dealing with grief, hotlines you can call for support, and more. We are here for you HP!Β 

β€œIn one of those stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night. And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend...I shall not leave you.”? Antoine de Saint-ExupΓ©ry, The Little Prince


β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’• My page is a SAFE space πŸ’•πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
ioGIZ5S Fly High, Angel Moosetress !

 

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