I don't really have the words, but all I can say is that it's been one hell of a shitty week!

So my dad is ONCE again making me feel guilty, he did it to my sister and she no longer talks to him or wants anything to do with him. He treats me like garbage, but somehow stupid me doesn't know when enough is enough. I suppose that just shows how much of a disappointment I really am.

I go to his house and all he does is drink, my sister and I have caught him talking to other women. he always tells me that I'm such a disapointment and that I'll NEVER be good enough, and that I'm fucked up because of my autism that I have. 

I tell him I don't want to come, he then procides to say that your mom is telling you not to come and that you don't give a shit about me. And the last time he got mad at me, he threw a rock at me, luckly, I was quick enough to get out of the way in time before it hit me.

I am just so sick and tired of it all, and I guess I'm the stupid one.

"I don't want to set the world on fire.. I just want to start a flame in your heart"

shameless bump....

"I don't want to set the world on fire.. I just want to start a flame in your heart"

Your father sounds like an abusive human being.

I personally suggest you try your best to ignore the things he says; they are coloured by his own unhappiness, and the alcohol.

Having autism does not make you not good enough, or fucked up.
It, like other neurodivergencies, makes you different - and that is all.

You are 100% good enough as you are.

I hope that you are able to talk to him less, because that is abusive in every way.

Hugs, Oak!

Second everything Nekkers has said. He sounds like a phenomenally difficult person to be having to deal with regularly and, as Neke said, abusive.

It's so difficult not to take the words of family - no matter how rocky family relationships might be - to heart. But try to shield yourself from his criticisms because they are not a reflection of your value, but of his bitterness.

So sorry that you have to be dealing with him; but blood is not an obligation. The fact that someone is family does not excuse their shitty behaviour, and you don't deserve to be the target of your father's outbursts. Take care of yourself, Oak.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this my love, you deserve so much better.

I wholeheartedly agree with what Uta said, blood is not an obligation. If he is causing you mental/emotional/physical harm, then he is abusive, regardless of familial ties.

A parent's primary role is to protect and advocate for their children, not abuse them. He has failed, not you. Don't let him pass his insecurities and failures onto you. You are wonderful, you are kind, you are enough. 

Always here if you need to vent. Huge hugs xx

Your dad's a dick. There's nothing for you to be guilty for. He's the one with the problem. Hard, but don't listen to him. I'd stay away from him, and if you must communicate, do so by phone.