Where do I even begin? Idk what my goal is for posting this here, maybe closure, maybe kind words.. Maybe just to vent. But the past two months for me have been terrible.

For starters just before our 9th anniversary at the beginning of September my husband and I decided to separate. Over the next two months we've had many talks and I've done everything but beg him to stay. Unfortunately he has decided to leave and does not appear to be changing his mind. Mid September my horse Dusty went down. We couldn't get him back up and the vet suggested I put him down. He was very sick and lost a lot of weight. She did not think he'd make it. Fast forward another month and on my birthday I pinched a nerve and after dropping my daughter off at Pre-K I went directly to the doctor. Not a great way to start my birthday but whatever. Well as soon as I got home I noticed my dog who has been in heart failure for a few months wasn't breathing well. I immediately rushed her to the vet but she didn't make it. She died in my arms on the way there. I've had her since the day she was born. 12 1/2 years. She was my first baby. Now she's gone. I spent the rest of the day in bed crying from pain and heartbreak. I didn't go to work the rest of the week. Partly due to bed rest due to my pinched nerve, half due to not having the strength to get out of bed. 

I feel so much loss and hurt right now. It seems like I've lost so much that I love and I feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Now I'm worried I'm going to be in trouble at work because I missed 3 days. I just don't know. I need to see my therapist but couldn't get in to see her till next week. I just need prayers and good thoughts if you have any to spare. 💔

Prayers, love, bear hugs, and just my everything to you at this moment. My heart melts with yours and these odds stacked against you, right now. It's okay not to be okay and to say so is such a vulnerable and brave thing to do. People don't realize how much tenacity and courage it takes to just admit to yourself that life sucks and you aren't okay, right now. But the good news is, things won't suck forever. Love you, fiercely, chime!

Oh Chime..I am so sorry! You have experienced so much loss in such a short period and there is no real words to magically make things better. I wanna echo Eyre, it is okay to not be okay right now. Weep, cry, be a little couch potato, snuggle with your little one and hold her close! Take whatever time you need to feel what you need to feel. 
But also remember that you are resilient! You are brave. You are caring. You are strong. You are needed and valued and loved. While this may be quite the speedbump, this isn't over. There are still good things to come! 
Proud of you that you're able to get in and speak to a professional soon! I hope that they will be able to add extra support for you, but please know that your HP family is here for you!! We love you and we are here for you. You can come rant, cry, bitch, complain, mope.. whatever you need in my DMs any time! I'm sending all the healing and good vibes energy your way!! You will get through this. It may take time - and that is okay. But you will come out on the other side and you will be okay. Because you've got an entire family here that is rooting for you and here to support you!! 

Thank you both so much. I can't get in to see my therapist for another two months so trying to do my best til then. It was my first day back in my home office without my baby girl Roo under me. Still can't believe she's not coming home. 😭

Goodness, I am so, so, sorry for all you're having to go through right now. Life can be so cruel sometimes. I'm a firm believer that the universe will only ever throw at us, what it knows we can handle. If you ever need to vent, I'm only a message away. You're strong, you got this. 

Sending a big hug your way! I'm so sorry life has thrown a whole lot all at once! :(

oh Chime!! I'm so so incredibly sorry for everything that's happened and for what you've had to deal with. My heart aches. If you ever need to chat, I'm only a message away. Your strong and you got this! Sending hugs and prayers your way! ♥ ♥