So, as many of you know... I am in the process of divorcing and have been for quite some time now. It's been almost a year and still I have NO idea the end of this cause. Nothing has been discussed as far as child visitations, child support/alimony... or anything else. We are still "abiding" by this temporary court order that was implimented.

Anyways, I'm sure you guys have noticed as I'm not as active as I used to be on here, and I think due to the economy and just every day happenings in my life, that soon... I may be forced to take a hiatus. 

Taxes/Insurance have gone up raising my already high mortage of 1600/mo to rise to 1737/mo. Which is well over half of my disability check I receive. I also have a truck payment, insurance, phone, wifi, electricity, and of course food. Here recently, I have been forced to pick up a part time job at our local tractor supply because I just can't really make ends meet by myself.

(Yes, the *wonderful* (sarcasm) husband left me to fend for ALL of the animals we acquired together, raise our son and take care of every single bill whilst only paying $250/mo. Which in reality does absolutely NOTHING for my child. Has anyone SEEN the price of diapers?! Lord. Don't even get me started. I'm so irritated with his dad. 

The court ordered that visitation for him would be every other month starting on the first friday. He would have him for two weeks, pickup/drop off being at 6pm. Well he was supposed to pick him up April 7th - to which I had planned on working more for some extra income. Two days prior, I messaged asking what the travel plan was for him picking him up... to which he replied he wasn't going to be able to get him this month. No surprise there. This makes the SECOND time he has not picked up him son since the order was set. If you do the math - that means he's only really had him 8 WEEKS out of 52 weeks.

When he doesn't pick up his child (which I AM NOT complaining as far as this in a sense because I'd rather have my son be with me and be safe) but rather I'm irritated that he's a shitty father. His son goes 4 months without seeing his father and obviously gets confused as to why he dad comes and goes whenever. He's in therapy for this as well and I have a therapist working hand in hand with an expert witness so I can get visitation changed. I don't want him going up to Chicago. Obviously it's too much for him anyways. If he wants to visit he needs to visit him here where our son is comfortable and knows his family/surroundings. 

SOOOOO on top of having my son, I've started this part time job... so trying to adjust to this schedule is insane. I'll work from like 4:30-9:30pm most nights. Get home at like 10, then eat, shower and be in bed by like 11ish or 11:30pm which is SUPER late for me... weekends I'm usually scheduled from like 10-3 or 11-6:30 depending on how many hours I've been scheduled for already. sigh* never thought it'd come to this. 

I want to shoot my lawyer a message and be like "heres an update... have you heard anything?" But I get charged for every correspondance with him and it's not my lawyer that can do anything but my ex's since he is the one that filed. My hands are tied and it's so irritating. I've got other orders in place stating I can't have anyone over night at my house which I understand, I do... but at the same time I have my child 98% of the time and you'd think at SOME point (since it's been a year) yaaa know I'd like to eventually get back out into the dating world and find someone to help me raise my child. It's sooooo aggravating! 

Anyways, I'm just venting here so I apologize if NONE of this makes sense. My mind is going 90-0 right now. AANNNDD on top of all this I'm trying to get out of this Wyndham timeshare because they absolutely SCREWED me over. Really my goal is to bare down and make this money so I can pay off my debt. I really want to get a sports bike so it's not as much gas to work... but I'd like to be debt free by the end of NEXT year. I have a LOT of goals but it's going to take a lot of work and dedication, especially as a single mom trying to do everything myself. 

My mother comes to watch my son when she gets off work so I can work - but I feel she gets frustrated sometimes cause if I'm off on a weekend, I'll want her to watch him again so I can go out but in reality she's already watched him all week and I feel guilty for everything cause mom guilty is real. 

I'm just trying.. best I can. Which is why I wanted to come on here and give everyone an update... I may have to get rid of some of my other lines because I can't seem to keep up with training anymore... I haven't done graphics in forever either. 

In addition to working I'm also doing a side photography gig with my friend. We shot an event for 24k diving dogs this month. We've been offered to do one in August as well. I def could use the extra cash flow... so send positive vibes my way and if someone is maybe interested in purchasing my horses on my other accounts, please let me know. I'll def do a deal! I've got knabbies, pintaloosas, etc. You can find links on my page to my other accounts. 

There is nothing I can do to help, except offer a shoulder if you need one.  :(

That is so much for one person to deal with, I am so sorry. I don't know how all that custody/legal stuff works over there, so I'm not much help in that department, I'm sorry.

But if you ever need to vent mum-to-mum, I am here for you. You've got this.

Thank you both. I just got off work (which was a bad day because my BRAIN was NOT working today). I showered and am eating a bowl of cereal before bed. It's already a quarter until 11. ughhh! My feet are aching and I only worked 5 hours. Next week is going to be rough because I work SAT-THURS :'( 

I guess the only good part is that the pay check is going to be looking really good. I am really determined to get all my debt paid down. I want to get it paid off whilst building mine and my son's savings. That kid has more money in his savings than I do in my checking and savings combined and he's only 3! He's got close to 2k right now. I'm super thrilled because that's momma's hard work for that boy. I want him to have the world! Set him up for success... charge him rent when he's 18 so when he moves out he'll have enough money for a down-payment on a house of his own. THAT will be my gift to him.

Dak, you are going to get so far with your determination! You are going to knock out all your goals and then some. You and your baby boy will thrive. Speak it all into existence.

I really hope that everything with court will get to a point of closure soon because it sucks when things like that get dragged out really far. It's mindblowing how long it can take. And I'm so sorry that you're dealing with an inconsistent father. That can do so much damage and it's so frustrating. I'm glad that sweet boy has you in his corner getting him any help he needs. I told my husband that he needed to be 100% out of his son's life, or he needed to be 100% CONSISTENT. No in between, no excuses.

I am definitely determined, that's for sure!

I'm so sorry your ex is such a shithead, Dakiti. :(

I have no experience with divorce and kids, but if reading Reddit posts about this has taught me anything, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Make sure all communication with him is in writing...it should help later on with visitation stuff and every time you have to take his ass to court.

I'm so sorry you're going through this much...it sounds like a whole lot on your plate. But you've got this. 

As for the divorce, someone above me said to document everything and you for sure should do that. It will help you in court when the time comes. I've never been through exactly what you're going through, but I am also here to support you in any way 🤍

I literally do NOT know WHY my reply did not post! I typed a whole ass story before I went to bed last night after I got off work. That irritates me. Blah. But yes, I have one of those "see it bigger" monthly calendars that I literally document everything on; when he calls, if we've argued or disagreed, when he doesn't pick his son up, amongst other things. Everything dates back from when the temporary order was placed (May 2022). So I've got almost a year's worth of stuff. Not to mention screenshots and actually pictures from before when we lived together. 

The evidence is substancial - so if they DO NOT do anything about it at the end of the day (or when this divorced ends) I will have a freaking COWW! 

When people say "they rule in the mom's favor" is bullshit. The whole court system I feel is jacked up. I HOPE they do what right but idk... God will hopefully be on my side. Fingers crossed.