Hi all!

Without getting into a ranty novel (ask Koni and BV, I just wrote them the longer version of this on FB LOL), I was forced onto the very ineffective generic version (aka the "fake pills") of my adhd meds a few weeks ago. Now that I'm back working, I'm realizing they do not work for me and my brain if I need to do any sort of thinking or be productive in any way. 

I'm currently playing the waiting game to try to get back onto the "real" (non-generic) pills and have my insurance cover the cost. It involves doctors forms and approvals from insurance. I have 2 "real" pills left from a previous refill then I have nothing but the fake pills, so I'm trying to save those last 2 pills for day job emergencies (lol). 

In a nutshell, this process is proving to take FOREVER. It's very frustrating.

Now you're probably asking why I'm posting about this and telling the game my meds woes.

Well. Idk how long this could take to get sorted. Could be next week, could be next month. In the meantime, it's likely my brain will not be running on all cylinders as it has been able to the past 2 years since my diagnosis and starting meds to fix the issue. This could manifest in me taking longer to reply to messages. Could take me longer to try to fix any game bugs. I may be forgetful or super scattered, I honestly don't know.

I just wanted to let everyone know this so you don't all think I'm ignoring HP, ignoring you, don't care, don't have time, etc. It's literally not that, I promise! 

I hope everyone will understand that for the next bit until my brain is back online fully, I'll be doing the best my brain allows me to do.

♥ Blitz (and her brain LOL)

As someone who's undiagnosed and has focus issues, I can't imagine how frustrating it is to not get the meds that actually work for you to help you function. I hope you're able to get it all sorted, and we completely understand!

That is one of my biggest fears for my son! I wish you the best of luck to get back to the meds that you need.

Thanks

Hah editing because I accidentally ate the rest of the post with a text heart lol

Should have said Thanks ♥

Other problem is my doctor since puberty just retired and the doctor who's taken over her patients only started yesterday. And obviously has no idea who I am...it's like a perfect storm of shit circumstances lol

we all love you! take the time you need, we can wait however long you need to get back to yourself :) if you need any help outside of admin/staff stuff you know I am around to help out! < 3

Thanks ♥

I'm going to try no meds at all tomorrow and this weekend to see if that's any better than the fake pills on how it makes me feel. Big test will be my Sunday HP stuff LOL

I think I speak for everyone when I say we are all here for you blitz! 

Amen to that! ❤️

Hope it's sooner rather than later for you and your poor brain! < 3

I'm happy to help with anything in the meantime & if anyone needs anything just send a message my way! :D

Update on the experiment I mentioned above:

Didn't take any meds this morning. Got to work for 8am, spent 2.5 hours trying to keep my eyes open (like "pulled an all-nighter on no caffeine" kind of keeping my eyes open, not just normal tiredness) and was SUPER nauseous like I needed to vomit everywhere. Also had to pee what felt like every 5 minutes lol.

Finally caved at 10:30 and took one of the fake pills. 

On my lunch I drove to talk to a pharmacist at my pharmacy to find out what my options are to get the real pills again other than the form thing I'm currently waiting (1 week officially...) on from my doctor. Pharmacist was SUPER helpful. She faxed my doctor an urgent request form to be able to release the 2 refills I have on my current prescription as the real stuff. Once the doctor green lights that, they can give me the real stuff again and I just pay the difference in cost between real and fake that my insurance currently won't cover without the form stuff I'm waiting on. It would be a few months worth of pills with those refills, so that'll get me until the forms and insurance are sorted so it will be fully covered again. She also quietly told me she was putting some sort of drug card from the real pill company on my file which will help subsidize some of the difference in cost too to help with that. 

She also told me to call my doctor to tell them what she did with the fax so they can green light it asap. By this point it was 15 minutes before my doctor closes (they close on Fridays at noon....), so I left, immediately called and talked to my new bestie the receptionist, explained the pharmacy stuff, then asked if she could try pushing the doctor to green light it today before she left for the weekened. Receptionist informed me that my doctor doesn't work Fridays, which is when my brain silently exploded. 

[My doctor is new to the practice. Started Wednesday, as in 2 days ago, and doesn't work Fridays?? Must be NICE to make doctor money and not work most of the time! -mutters-]

She did say that she would try to send a message to her to get her to do it, but that she wasn't sure if the doctor checks her work messages on weekends (fair enough...). 

So overall I'm feeling more positive than I was last night. Feels like the ball is rolling again, I do have people trying their best to get me what I need. More annoyed though than I was with this new doctor who's now holding up both attempts at getting this sorted. But at the same time doctors are hard to come by here in the past few years and doctors have been known to decide to drop patientes SO I also don't want to call up the office and demand to talk to her to demand she do her job NOW. Just have to be patient still, but it still feels like things have moved forward.

I also didn't go on a rage rampage on the fake pills at work today so that's also a win lmao.

*hugs* You know we're here to support you just like you're always support us! 

Hol' up...you have a brain??

Huh.

J/k ♥ ♥ ♥

Hey now lmao

The waiting game on doctors and insurance and if the med actually works with your brain is so real and crazy! I'm so glad the pharmacist was helpful and bravo to you for asking for help from that point of view rather than just waiting on the doctor. Super big kid moment and I'm so proud of you!!!! I hope you can be proud of yourself too. 

I'm sorry about the waiting game and the brain malfunctions -- it's so hard to deal with crazy brain chemistry and meds that don't work. I'd encourage you to take the fake pills consistently, though, even though they don't work. It's hard enough to have crazy brain moments and then to deal with real med withdrawals and function at work with its ups and downs and such. Maybe the fake pills can sway some of the crazy, just the tiniest bit, and help in a menial way that keeps your brain even keel and to function just a little bit of a consistent something. 

But you know yourself best and how your brain functions, some of the time, and how you feel. To take fake pills or not is ultimately your choice, but speaking from my own experience, unless the side effects are affecting you greatly in your sense of self or functionality or mood/outlook on life, the grin and bear it approach is sometimes the best method of soldiering on until normalcy can be restored -- or until you can talk with your doctor and get real pills that work for you and your brain. And maybe in taking the fake pills can show your new doctor that you are willing to work with her and be compliant and aren't really trying to work against the system, but that you know your own body and know what works for you and what doesn't and that these fake pills are deifinitely not working!

(That was quite longer than I meant it to be. My apologies. Nothing but support and grace to you from this side of the interwebs, though. We're all supportive of you and who you need to be and or do during this time. )

Be kind to your mind 💕 take this time to step back a little, recharge and refresh! We are all here for you and love you and can be patient 

Good news, everyone! As of this past Wednesday, I have the right meds again! The "real" ones! Cost me $273 out of pocket, but it is what it is.

So my brain is back online!

Thank you to everyone for their patience, understanding and words of support...I love y'all! ♥