Okay, so before nyt or anyone reads this and freaks out on me: THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENING. There's just some stuff going on and the idea was thrown around, but as of right now, it's not happening. 

Now that that's been said, I have a question: How soon is too soon to move in with someone you've been dating? 

The girl I've been seeing lives like, 45 minutes away in Little Rock, and every time she visits my apartment for the weekend, she mentions at least 2-3 times how she wants to move to Conway (where i live; it's way cheaper here than LR and just as nice or nicer.) 

So, she found out she's probably gonna lose her job at the end of the month as the doctor she works for is leaving the practice he works at, and her current lease is up in like July, so she's actually looking for jobs and apartments here. I was talking to my mom about it, and my mom asked me if i had considered asking her to move in with me ?????? like, no mom, i did not consider that.  My older brother moved in with a girl he'd been dating for like six months and it ended horribly. Like, they barely made it through half their lease before it all went down in flaaaaaaaaaaaames. Now, I don't know what their relationship was like before they moved in together (they always seemed happy when I was around them, but that doesn't mean everything was just peachy, either.) so it might have just not been a good idea for them to live together no matter how long they'd been together. but the girl i'm seeing and i get along really well/we have a lot in common/similar personalities. 

By the time her lease is up, assuming all continues to go well, it'll be like 9-10 months we've been seeing each other. Which is a little while, i guess, but it still seems kind of early to move in with someone? Or maybe I'm just being super cautious. I also kind of like living alone, though I wouldn't mind living with her, either. It's not that I wouldn't want to, I'd just be nervous that it's so soon and things would end badly. haha

SO HP, how soon is too soon when it comes to moving in with a S/O? 

I wouldn't say nine to ten is too soon, but if you're not feeling comfortable then it might be too soon for YOU. But there's also over-caution, where taking a risk is needed sometimes. So you have to weigh it all.

*totally helpful*

WOW OLIVE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU LITERALLY JUST TYPED EXACTLY WHAT'S IN MY HEAD 

(thank u!) 

Okay -cracks knuckles- 

First of all, there's a saying that goes "You don't really know someone until you live with them." And I have to say, in my experiences that is a pretty true statement. Even if you spend every day with them for four years and they are your best friend in the world, living together can be an entirely different experience. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about here. There's a lot of factors in my situation that do not apply to yours, however...you need to think about these things thoroughly.

1) You mentioned you liked living alone. I loved living alone. It took a very long time for me to adjust to sharing a home with someone, even if they were my favorite someone. I became more anxious and irritable and I still miss living alone. I don't know, maybe that's just me. But going from the solitary peacefulness of having your own space to be to sharing and co-existing that same home can either be beneficial..or not so much. Every person has their own little quirks and things they do. You're going to learn a whole lot about each other in the first few days than you had in a month. 

2) Is this the on again off again person? Because if it is, I don't think this is a good idea. 

3) Money. Money is always something that people fight over. Whether you're just roommates or a couple living together. Somehow the bills we be split and somewhere along the line someone may not come up with their half for something. They might run up the electric bill. They might not have a job or means to pay and begin to take advantage of you. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT let someone take advantage of you. That means you don't need to be paying for everything if they aren't working. 

I'm not gonna give you the third degree, but please think it through. It may seem like you have a lot of things in common and you get along wonderfully. I thought that too. I didn't want to spend a single second away from my SO that I currently live with. A year and a half later, most of the time I am hiding in another room or want to choke him. But you know, that's me and there's other stuff going on. Lots of people move in together and they are really happy. Realistically it isn't going to be all perfect. When you see each other on the weekends and stuff, there's no responsibility. The sole purpose is to enjoy each other and have fun together. Once you share a home AND real life, with all its responsibilities, comes in...the "fun fun fun" fades away a bit.

I'm kind of cynical though. Just don't jump right into something and don't let someone take advantage of you. Be prepared for little spiffs about dishes or stuff like that. And remember that your happiness is most important. Love you :) 

Yes, nyttie, I like living alone. But I also really despise living alone because I feel very isolated and it sometimes makes my social anxiety worse since I start getting used to being alone all of the time. 

2) when I tried to answer this question I realized most of my relationships have been on again off again. LOL 

3) money wouldn't be an issue I'm sure. We're both reasonably responsible when it comes to bills and money. 

I definitely hear what you're saying about getting into little spats and whatnot; i know I don't want to live with just anyone, or even most of my friends, but when I really consider the idea of living with this particular person, I feel like it would be good. I haven't even mentioned it to her yet, though, and I genuinely doubt it's going to happen. I just got curious about what people thought was too soon to move in with a s/o

I live alone and have had a number of people 'live' with me. 

I moved out of home for the first time 6 years ago, which is a huge step for anyone, let alone someone with a disability. I was moving to my own little flat and was also having a friend move in with me (also has a disability, but could walk). This friend i'd probably only known for 6 months through a place we used to go horse riding together. I felt we were close enough we'd get along well. However if it all went south, it wasn't going to be "too difficult" to get over since we weren't super close. Anyway, as it turns out... her mother was a control freak, and was over at my house every/single/day! Helping her daughter do stuff that was unnecessary, and buying all kinds of random things (like pictures) to put all through the house. She even wanted to change the colour of the walls. This girl lasted less than 4 months living with me. Apparently she was too anxious and scared and felt like she couldn't cope. It was complete news to me. So she gave me FOUR days notice and moved out on me. 

I then met another girl, who i'd only known online. She was eccentric to say the least, and from the stuff she wrote online it sounded like she was in quite a bit of danger from a psycho ex who actually DID shoot her with a gun... which she proudly displayed and told everyone.  I should have seen the red flags then, but I did not. So I said I had a spare room, and she could stay in with me if she wishes so that this guy couldn't find her., until she could find her own place Anyway, she was only meant to stay no more than 2 months. Turns out she wasn't bothering to look for a house at all. She just wanted to live in my home rent free. All she really did was cook me nice meals. That too also turned south when I began getting tough on her and she went all PSYCHOTIC in my face (she has some major mental health disorders). So she was kicked out immediately. Don't know where she ended up, but for quite some time I feared for my safety O_o

Finally over the past two years i've had another friend regularly stay. She's in a ridiculous situation where she lives with her stepmother. She also has her father still (who she can't stand) and also has her stepfather who used to be in a relationship with the stepmother she lives with. The father also used to date the stepmother for quite some time. Anyway this friend has Aspergers and quite a severe intellectual disability on top of it. She's had a very tough life in and out of foster homes and been subject to all kinds of abuse. It became apparent that her stepmother was using and abusing her financially. However my friend is so used to the situation, she deals with it and is left to survive on $120 a fortnight out of quite a large pension, which the stepmother then pockets. Because the stepmother goes and looks after her own father each fortnight up the coast, my friend then has to find elsewhere to live for that fortnight, because the stepmother refuses to allow her to stay in the house alone for that fortnight (she doesn't trust her). She usually has to ask her father if she can stay, and that depends on what his girlfriend says... which is usually no. Otherwise she has to stay with her stepfather... who's still buddy buddy with the stepmother and tells the stepmother everything my friend does! The stepmother also expected that I would just happily accept my friend staying here every fortnight, without so much as offering me money for food or electricity until I ASKED her to do so (she ended up staying so frequently my friends and family already thought she moved in)! So anyway, over the past 2 years i've tried coaxing my friend into living with me. First she'd make up all these excuses about not being able to have pets if she lives with me (because I have my quota of allowable pets already). Then the excuses would get weirder. They'd always change. Finally about 6 months ago she started saying she wanted to move in. So I regularly pestered her to see when she was going to move in. She'd again make all kinds of excuses, mostly related to money. She can't afford it and bla bla bla. Which of course she couldn't as I found out... because she spends more than she earns and always takes out loans that she can't pay back. However nobody ever kept an eye on that. So it was the week before Christmas and I finally decided enough was enough. She HAD to give me a date she was going to move in, and she had to go talk to her stepmothers landlord (who is also a friend of the woman!) to see if her name was also on the lease. She did not want to call because the landlord would go telling the stepmother lol. She just wanted to casually leave her current home one day and never return because she didn't want the confrontation with the psycho woman. So I finally realised she too did not want to move in... and told her she couldn't. She now is only allowed to stay one weekend a month.

I also had a boyfriend I /did/ have move in with me and my family many years ago. That lasted 9 months, until he cheated on me haha.

So I guess you could say, me and people don't mix. I'm /definitely/ better off alone!