Okay, give me your best jokes! Let's go.

Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Hey! We don’t want your type in here!’

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s also terrible.

The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’

One of the cows didn’t produce milk today. It was an udder failure.

T

wo wifi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.

Did you about the stolen dog collar? Police are looking for leads.

what do you call an angry carrot?

a steamed veggie

What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?

Time to duck for cover.

Why did the whale blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom.

Who helps little pumpkins cross the road on the way to school?

The crossing gourd.

3. What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics!

My IQ test results came back. They were negative.

How can a frog jump higher than the Eiffel Tower?

The Eiffel Tower can’t jump!

Which days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Wooden shoe.

Wooden shoe who?

Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

why was cinderella so bad at playing soccer?

she kept running away from the ball

If you throw a stone in the ocean, what will it turn out to be?

Wet!

what is blue and not very heavy?

light blue xD

Why did the chicken cross the road?

it's egg couldn't walk

A man goes to the doctor complaining about constantly hearing the song "Delilah" in his head.

The doctor says, "That sounds like a textbook case of Tom Jones syndrome."

The man asks, "Never heard of that. Is it common?"

The doctor responds, "It's not unusual."