Okay, give me your best jokes! Let's go.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, you want to see how far I can kick this bucket?"

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he eventually woke up!

A  guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."

What do you call a dog with no legs? You can call him whatever you want, he's still not coming.

What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung? The guardians of the Galaxy.

Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.

There are three types of people in the world. Those of us who are good at math and those of us who aren't.

Why do ghosts love elevators? Because it lifts their spirits.

***WARNING SEVERE DAD JOKE***

My husband just made this up while I was eating macaroni for lunch.

"I told her a joke. It went pasta head."

*Yes he's a Dad.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh