Okay, this is our official HP complain about anything thread! I try to always be positive, buuttt sometimes I just need to vent and get it out of my system. So, I'm venting and I think everyone else should too. (Keep it mature, obvs.)

Need to complain about the weather, your BFF, your pet bird, your job? Well this is your one stop complaining shop!

I'll start:

I am like SO FREAKING TIRED of the weather going up and down. It's late April and it's S-N-O-W-I-N-G. It just keeps happening and I am OVER IT. People keep saying that "this is the last time" except they said that 5 times ago and yet. I just want to go outside!

I'm really sick and tired of not having enough money. I've increased my prices and I should have more work and yet, I can never seem to save up money, or freely buy things that I need or want. It's always, "Do I have enough money for that this month?" "Maybe I should try and get another client so I can have some more money?" And then of course, "I shouldn't spend money until after I know I can make rent this month."

I found the perfect house to move into and the owner rented it out without even looking at our application. She flat out told me she didn't even open it. 

Link Tree

Coding is weird. Every time I think I have a part figured out, it turns out to do something completely whacky, unintended and I just don't even... where does it even get that behavior? Dx
I seriously can't even decide if I'm annoyed or curious about the whole thing.

Viking dared to complain about having to commute to me today.... for almost a year now he's literally been able to walk to school or anywhere else he wants to go. For almost the past year I've been driving an hour (one way) to see him almost 4 days a week, driving to work in the mornings which can take me over an hour, plus my (almost) daily commute to the barn.... and he's mad because he has a doctors appointment 30 minutes away? I'm not even sorry I got snappy with him about that one. Ridiculous dude.

I fell off of a horse last week. We were riding outside and she spooked and we just separated ways. It was a slow motion fall and I wasn't hurt. But I did have to walk all the way back to the barn to get back on. It was honestly the least traumatic fall I've ever had and I feel pretty good about that because I've had a lot of issues with overcoming fear while riding.

WEELLLLLLL guess what I did in my lesson yesterday? I FELL OFF AGAIN. This time the horse I was riding was 17.1 and it was a long way to the ground and I hit hard. I'm fine, but I'm sore and I have a headache today (I didn't hit my head, but whenever my back is out of alignment it's a headache/migraine trigger for me). He is the horse I leased all of last summer and he was never spooky, but he was super spooky yesterday and when we were riding by the door a car pulled into the driveway and he dumped me. Mostly I'm mad that I have a headache today, I guess.

So I fell in love with this college and their video game design program when I was a senior in high school, but college didn't work out for me right after I graduated so I took time off and worked at the library. 5 years later, I'm back at school and excited to start down the path towards my dream job. Having this path, a direction and goal, have done wonders for my depression. But when I checked up on my dream school Monday, I found out that they've dropped their video game design program.

Now I am just so sad and tired because the school I dreamed about and saw myself going through is no longer an option, and I just feel pretty lost about my future now, which is dragging me down into my depression again. I did some research on other colleges that offer the kind of video game design program I need, and the  only "local" options (I live in Southern California) are a private college in Seattle, or USC. There's no way this side of heaven that I can afford a private college, even if my parents were to help, and I can't apply for FAFSA independently of my parents (which would qualify me for a ton of financial aid) for another year. As for USC? That one just makes me laugh because it's USC. My academic career is so pitiful and nowhere near competitive enough to get me in. 

So now I'm just trying not to sleep through classes and keep up my grades until something works out.

I am SICK of being SICK! 
The past year I've delt with Salmonella, Typhoid, Malaria, and was just tested for TB (which thankfully came back as a negative) only to learn that my RBC count was so low I was a candidate for transfussion. I want to be able to get out of bed without falling over! PRODUCE SOME RED BLOOD CELLS, BODY! I'm doing the things! I'm drinking the water, I'm taking the vitamins, I'm eating the meat (I was previously a vegan)... I'm doing my part, now do yours; we have two months left until we are back in the US, so if you could just work with me until then THAT WOULD BE GREAT! 

Oh my word, Taylinn!! Typhoid? Malaria?! D:

My big complaint for today is I got up at 5am today thinking I worked at 7....Turns out today is a 9am day...at least I noticed that before I got to work. xD

I am MAD AT MYSELF because I am TOO HARD ON MYSELF and I'm trying the best I can to get out of my head/stop feeling anxious about showing Cosmo this weekend. Weather kept us from riding outside until this week, and our first outdoor lesson over fences last night was a literal dumpster fire. I couldn't spot a distance to save my life, kept choking up on the reins, crawling up the neck, forgetting to steer in front of the fence, etc. etc. It was like I was a rank beginner again and I KNOW it's just because of the change in scenery. I almost ate serious doo-doo on the out of a line and had my first ever face-plant onto Cosmo's neck; I have a little tiny bruise on my chin but I feel lucky to have not broken my nose or my glasses with that one... We were cruising around 2'6" courses complete with lead changes and perfect striding less than a week ago - WTF BRAIN STOP IT. GAH.

I know some of my outdoor anxiety was all the time I spent last summer contending with my last lease horse - he was a dirty stopper who also liked to run away on the backside of the fence, so I developed a lot of anxiety about doing long courses in the outdoor. Since being indoors for the fall/winter/most of spring, I felt like I was over it, and having Cosmo (who is a saint a majority of the time) gave me a lot of confidence. Yesterday dampened that confidence a bit, but I'm hoping a quick school over the same course (at a lower height) tonight might give me some of my mojo back to go show this weekend with Cosmo for the first time. I'm still excited to get to show, just.... apprehensive.

tl;dr - MERO NEEDS TO GET OUT OF HER BRAIN AND GET HER SHEET TOGETHER!!

i slept wrong a few nights ago and now i have a lump on my head and it hurts

darn hair folicules 

mr maha had one a few days ago also so apparently its just going around -.-

As an update from my previous post about being upset by how hard I am on myself, I'm happy to report that I had a lovely little lesson and course with Cosmo tonight and my confidence feels pretty much restored - looking forward to a fun time this weekend! My only goals are to a.) not fall off and b.) enjoy my horse as much as possible, and any ribbons that might happen are just a bonus for me to decorate my bedroom with. ;3

I just started a new job last week and I hate it. I hate it so much that i'm starting to feel the way I did back in 2012 when my then-job was making me think terrible thoughts. I don't want to go back to that dark place. I can't. I need to remind myself that life is too short to settle for something that makes me so ridiculously unhappy, stressed, anxious and depressed all at once. So I applied for one that I actually do want and I have an interview for it tomorrow. I'm so happy that I scored an interview but at the same time i'm so stressed. I have no intention of going back to the other job so I really need this interview to go well.

On the plus side my experience in the area gives me a huge advantage, and the job ad said if you're invited for an interview please bring bank details, tax file number and superannuation details along with contact information for two work related references. So it kind of sounds like if they like you enough to invite you for an interview, they'll just want to check your reliability through your work references before finalizing your employment.

-sigh- Adulting sucks.

I started my new job in March and don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it, but there are some very frustrating situations that I'm coming up against which is really starting to test my patience. When I started I was handed a heck ton of projects to take on, two of which were liaising new water supplies into some residential and commercial properties which is fine BUT my colleagues have been sitting on these since January this year so despite not being here I'm having to take an ear full from the clients for not getting the jobs done in reasonable time. I can't exactly say, 'well it's not my fault because I wasn't here' because I'm a professional but it's starting to really wind me up.

Not complaining now but following up on my post. BEST DECISION EVER. My interview went great, the guy is really nice and he wants me on his team. We really hit it off because we want the same things; a long term commitment and a well functioning team. He said he's hopefully getting people started on Monday so he'll likely call me before then. If not it will be next week.

Not a complaint.... ^^ That's awesome Ash!!!!

I have been so heinously annoyed with my manager lately.

I could probably write a novel about all her BS, but suffice it to say she is a hugely needy and insecure person who - while very intelligent - does not have a good grasp on how she comes across to other people. She requires constant validation from anyone and everyone, and constantly airs her problems loudly and at length to anyone within hearing distance.

The perfect example of this was last week; my boyfriend and I (he works in a sister company on the same floor and does IT support functions for both) made a point to count just how many times we heard her bring up three things in one day: 1.) the fact that her ear is occluded due to an ear infection, 2.) she is on a course of steroids, and 3.) she is feeling emotionally unstable. Our grand total from the four hours we actively listened out for was freaking 13 times, and usually it was all three within the same breath.

My bf and I have only just recently broken her of the habit of trying to guilt trip him into buying her lunch every single day, and we've taken up the hobby of making wagers on when/why she'll have a meltdown on a given day (bingo cards are in progress).

Back to the topic of her not having a grasp on how others perceive her, she's a 51-year old woman who (due to health issues) is on the rather heavy side and has basically no teeth due to enamel loss (think meth addict mouth). She constantly complains that people don't take her seriously, yet she dresses like she's trying to be a 20-something punk rock chick and looks like a hot mess 98% of the time with smudged makeup and too much lipstick. She leaks gossip like a sieve and says some hugely inappropriate things (always in a very loud tone). Of course the other managers don't take her seriously, and of course she hasn't gotten promoted further/been given raises. She's the least professional-looking and -behaving person I've ever met and I know they only keep her around because she's a workhorse who won't push for more $$$.

/rant

Small apples complaint but: I AM SO HUNGRY

Helllllo, my turn lol.

So I've been working at this place for 1.5 years. To the best of my knowledge, I haven't done anything wrong, but the company has decided to start cutting my hours. I've asked my manager why this is happening, and she said it's happening to everyone. BUT, my two co-workers seem to be getting more hours, if not my hours.

Therefore, I've been job searching for 2 weeks. I've applied to 8 places, and only recieved an email from one of them. The email was to set up a phone interview. Of the three dates and times I gave, no one called. I emailed HR again to see if it was a miscommunication, or if they recieved my email. It's been 3 days and I got no response. I then tried looking up the HR number, which was disconnected. 

So now I am being super hard on myself, and feeling bad for myself, because I can't understand why I wouldn't get a call back from ANY of the places I applied. I'm sort of in a weird spot, because I'm a year away from my Bachelors, but I also feel like I'm worth more than a minimum wage employee. UGH.

It's windy and cold and rainy and I don't really wanna go to the gym.

I've been sick since Monday and my throat finally hurts less today, except I keep sneezing and then it hurts SO. BAD. and I am so over it. I just want to be able to swallow without pain.