Okay, give me your best jokes! Let's go.

Do you want to hear a dirty joke?

A pig rolled in the mud

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

Thought to ponder: 

What happens when you are scared half to death twice?

What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!

How do celebrities stay cool?

They have lots of fans.

What does a cloud wear under a raincoat?
Thunderwear.

• "How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints."

 What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past.

• "I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?

Because it was a little horse!

I can cut a piece of wood in half by just looking at it. I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.

what do you call a bear with no teeth? a GUMMY bear ;)

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

1. What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

"Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!"

What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?

Thunderwear!

What do you call a well-balanced horse?

Stable.

hat was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon